Strength Beyond Our Own

Dust and dirt for miles, a pain in my knees that wouldn't go away, the sting and sorrow of constant rejection, and a patience running thin with 8 boys calling out to us, repeating 'groseros' about the work we were called to do. I felt as though all my strength, in all aspects, had run out. I was drained physically, mentally and spiritually. Every day seemed like I'd never make it back to the house.

One morning, I had reached my limit. I fell to my knees in the bathroom, praying for a strength beyond my own. It was in that moment that my eyes were truly opened.

I couldn't do it alone. 

That wasn't the point. I might come close, but completely? I needed the help and strength of a divine, infinite being. The point was that I could learn to rely on the only one who could help me get to where I wanted and needed to be as a missionary. I was sharply, and well lovingly, reminded that we cannot and should not do it alone. If we give it our all, Christ will make up for the rest and help us the rest of the way. He wants to help us, we just need to allow Him to. 

During my time in the CCM, I came to love the scripture found in 2 Nephi 22:2.

 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation. 

It's always stuck with me. 

I'm also reminded of the story and example of Ammon. He is such a strong example of so many amazing characteristics. He rejected his right to the kingdom of his father to go and preach the word of god. He went to the Lamanite land of Ishamel and fell servant to King Lamoni. He always looked for ways to bring others unto the knowledge of their Redeemer. He had only been in the service of the king three days, when he was given an amazing opportunity. When a group of Lamanites scattered the King's flocks (knowing that the King would kill those servants who failed to protect his sheep), Ammon saw an opporunity to gain their favor,. that they might listen to the message he had come to bear. As he helped them gather the sheep, the same group of Lamanites fell upon them. 

36 But Ammon stood forth and began to cast stones at them with his sling; yea, with mighty power he did sling stones amongst them; and thus he slew a certain number of them insomuch that they began to be astonished at his power; nevertheless they were angry because of the slain of their brethren, and they were determined that he should fall; therefore, seeing that they could not hit him with their stones, they came forth with clubs to slay him.

37 But behold, every man that lifted his club to smite Ammon, he smote off their arms with his sword; for he did withstand their blows by smiting their arms with the edge of his sword, insomuch that they began to be astonished, and began to flee before him; yea, and they were not few in number; and he caused them to flee by the strength of his arm.

38 Now six of them had fallen by the sling, but he slew none save it were their leader with his sword; and he smote off as many of their arms as were lifted against him, and they were not a few.

(Alma 17:36-38)

He then returned the flocks to their rightful place and continued on in his job. I've always loved that after such a grand display of strength, Ammon was humble enough to return to the job he was assigned and feed the horses. He eventually gained the opportunity to bring King Lamoni and his people to the knowledge of the Redeemer. 

Of all the pain, joy, trial, success and affliction that Ammon passed through, he remained strong and firm in his purpose and beliefs. He was always aware of where 'his true power' came from, saying in Alma 26:12, 

 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.  

He always remembered that it was only through the strength of God that he could accomplish all that was required of him. 

Even when life seems to throw you a million curve balls, remember that you were not made by a perfect being to fail in this life. You were made to succeed. To know that God is always on your side and will give you the strength you need if you just ask, is a marvelous blessing. 

Este Semana: 

My sister had a birthday! (Wish her a happy late one ;) )

We had Thanksgiving? We didn't do much. It was a normal day of proselyting. Although, we did buy some food and cooked a pretty good Thanksgiving lunch :)

Saturday we had a baptism! Wendy was baptized and I got to play a special number with the other sisters in our district singing. It was an amazing opportunity for such a sweet girl. Her mom is a convert and just recently began returning to church. She lives in a house with a ton of her extended family and all of them are Catholic. Her father left her family for another woman and never returned. She told us she often felt angry, overwhelmed and just plain sad. After her baptism, she told us with pure joy that she had forgot all about the things that worried her before and felt so happy 'I just can't explain it!' It was so amazing for me to be able to witness God working such amazing miracles for the people here in Mexico.